Looks Like We Made It After All

Not back into writing mode yet as I've just dropped off the family at the airport and have yet to come even close to unpacking or situating myself here in Portland. However, I'm here and I'm happy. I'm also seriously contemplating the purchase of a home, but that might be a tad unrealistic at this juncture. I just can't bare the thought of paying rent to someone else. Especially if that someone else is anything like my last landlord or is the owner of some sad one bedroom apartment. Hendrix and I need space. We need room to stretch out our legs and store all our stuff. We need a backyard where we can hangout and enjoy the sunshine.

But housing isn't cheap here in PDX and there's no way anyone's giving this lady a mortgage. Hmph. I'll search anyway because you never know. Stay tuned.

Today Is...

my last day at home. Leaving will be rather bittersweet. I have learned to see the good in where I come from; to love La Crosse for what it is instead of complaining about what it isn't. I have been blessed to spend so much time with my loved ones. I have enjoyed a more than mild Wisconsin summer, a nice retreat from the desert. I have laughed...a lot. I have spent so much time with one of my oldest friends that I wonder if I should feel guilty. I have found a new hobby. There were moments when I thought I might lose my mind, but in the end I can't imagine a better way to have spent the second half of my summer. Thank you, my wonderful Wisconsinites, I love you.

I'm Gonna Get Married

Someday.

My entire adult life I've struggled with the fight for my need for independence/fear of commitment/free spirit versus my desire to have a traditional life with a husband and kids. I'll be honest, the older I get the quieter my biological clock seems to get, but the stronger my desire for partnership seems to grow. I'd be lying if I didn't say that there are days when the loneliness is palpable. I love my girlfriends, they are my strength and support, but with so many of them being attached it forces me to reflect on my own singledom.

Aside from what might be the obvious reasons (being the third wheel gets old, even with the best of couples), here are some of the reasons that I have determined I will one day get married:

Simon and Garfunkel's America I've been in love with this song since I was 17. The opening line is so poignant for me, "let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together". I want to be Kathy. I want to travel around America on a Greyhound and play games with the faces. I want to look for America with someone who understands the importance and meaning of this song to me.

Coffee and Newspaper I make a pretty killer cup of coffee. I enjoy drinking said coffee while reading the newspaper. It would be nice to have someone (besides my awesome Grams) to make coffee for and discuss the daily news with.

Traveling I have been to some of the most romantic cities in the world (Paris, Prague, Florence), alone (well, with my family or friends, but still...). I've flown half way around the world, alone. I've seen and done so many amazing things, but haven't had anyone to share it all with me. I want someone to hold my hand as the plane takes off. I want someone's shoulder to sleep on during those long flights. I want someone to walk through the streets of Paris with and have other people be totally disgusted by how in love we are. And maybe for those same people to think we're French.

My baby need a daddy Hendrix loves boys; she loves male attention. I'm not sure where she gets it because it certainly isn't from me. I know it sounds silly but I want a slew of pups and it would be real nice to have someone to walk them with me and help name them.

Cooking for Two I really enjoy cooking, but it gets depressing cooking for one. Not just because then you have to do all the clean up, but also because you're eating leftovers for days. I want someone to enjoy my cooking and wash my damn dishes.

Dream Wedding As cynical as I am, I'm still like every other girl and have been dreaming about my wedding since I was a little girl. I think I've just about got it right in my head...except for the groom part. Minor detail.

Make a House a Home The one thing I want almost as much as someone to share my life with is a house. Maybe even a little more, but Jill tells me I have to have a husband to get a house. Le sigh. But seriously, I really really really really and really want a house. A nice old house that needs a little bit of work. Someplace that is older than me with a big front porch and a back porch. Shoot, this is my fantasy, it's gonna have a wrap around porch. It'll have loads of character and we'll fill it with vintage furniture that is as eclectic as we are. We'll collect odds and ends on our travels and have a story for every rad accessory we have. Oh man, I'd get married tomorrow if he came with a house.

Happiness is... being married to your best friend. And that's exactly what I want, so that someday I can hang my Gram's magnet on my fridge.

I'll agree, this all sounds a little Hollywood, a little clique, a little unrealistic. However, I think I deserve it, and at the end of the day all I really want is someone to hold my hand. The way my grandpa used to hold my grandma's in church when he thought no one else was looking. Because when all is said and done, it comes down to the simple things...someone to sit with in church and hold your hand after 50+ years of marriage. Better get crackin'.

Aside From Being French

One day over fine microbrews my buddy, Eric, and I were discussing what we'd like to be when we grow up. This of course would be in an ideal world where degrees and know how mean nothing, where all you need is to dream hard enough and the job is yours. In this world, when I grow up, I would be one of the following...

Host of a travel show My mate, Raf, and I have already discussed this one. We figure we're good looking and funny enough (and modest too) that people would love to watch us travel the planet, eating good food and sleeping in the finest hotels. We haven't officially decided what our schtick is going to be, but we're working on it. Check your local listings.

Fashion editor/writer/anything to do with fashion Sadly I feel I have discovered too late in life how much I love fashion. Even more sad is that I discovered that I do not have enough money to let this love flourish. Instead I spend my money and time on fashion magazines and blogs, hoping to one day be as trendy as hip as the ladies they feature. That way maybe I'll end up on Glamour's "Do List" or something similarly affirming. Fingers crossed!



Author/music journalist It's not a secret that I love music and I love musicians just as much. No amount of money is too much money to spend on albums and concerts, and if you're a music journalist you're gettin it all for free. Sweet! Plus, I secretly always wanted to be William Miller in Almost Famous. And I'd get to hang out with hip pretentious people on a regular basis. Double sweet!

Modern Day Martha Stewart I know she's still alive and kicking, but come on, does anyone younger than 40 actually buy into her deal? Don't get me wrong, I love her line of kitchenwares at Macy's, but that's about it. She's a little old fashioned for me; a little too country. I'd be like an urban, hip Martha that 20 and 30 somethings would love and adore. I'd be on Oprah and she would make me a regular guest, like Dr. Oz. The Obamas would invite me to their house for dinner and they too would be enchanted by me. Ok, maybe I'm getting a little carried away. Maybe I should keep sewing and cooking before I get ahead of myself.

College professor Sounds achievable, right? Except when you remember that in order to be a professor at any reputable university you have to have a PhD, which means about 4 more years of schooling after I finish the next 2 and a half. But molding young minds sounds like a good time. That and summers off. Plus, I love school. Seriously, love it. I love books, I love paper and pens and folders and binders. My best day ever is spent shopping for schools supplies. Oooooooh, loves it.

Summer Sounds

This has been an interesting summer for me, to say the least, so I am trying to keep my music selection upbeat. I can be great affected by melancholy music, and I do my best to avoid it when it I sense it might do nothing but bring me down. Instead I have filled my ears with some rather rockin' and uplifting tunes over the past few months, and I thought I might share them with you lovely folks. I strongly recommend you check them all out as soon as humanly possible.

French Kicks Swimming

My friend, Mark, introduced me to these guys when I was in Austin this spring and I finally bought the album a few weeks ago. It has been on very heavy rotation ever since. It will not surprise many of you when I say I might have a wee bit of a crush on the lead singer.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs Show Your Bones and It's Blitz

I saw them twice this summer and I'm absolutely in love with Karen O. This is the exact music that is required for an impromptu dance party. I also imagine it would be excellent for dancing about in your underwear (I only imagine, not that I've actually done it). This is from one of the shows at The Marquee in Tempe (a venue I'll greatly miss), and is probably one of the greatest love songs of all time. I think I'd like to dance to it at my wedding (my imaginary one obviously).

Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

I love all things French. Phoenix is no exception. This album is only $7.99 on iTunes so you should probably buy it now.

Passion Pit Manners

I saw these guys at Sasquatch and they were nothing short of a-mazing.

Kings of Leon Any album will suffice

I can't help it, I'm still way into these guys (and I don't just mean the lead singer, Caleb), and also saw them at Sasquatch. They're very "it" right now, but they've been big in the UK for years. Their music makes me reminisce about the "good old days", but still makes me very happy. It's also very good for dancing about. If you enjoy rock, especially southern rock, these are your guys.

Adele 19

An awesome English chic. Her album is great for feeling lovesick and empowered. She'll knock your socks off.

I'm of course throwing in some classics here and there, but mostly it's these albums over and over and over. Other than that I've been trying the old iPod on shuffle and finding new tunes every day. It's like opening a Cracker Jack box and waiting for the surprise. Ahhh, music makes me smile.

How to Gain Weight - Wisconsin Edition

Before we begin I am compelled to warn you that this process takes true commitment and is not for the faint of heart. If you are not willing to put in the time and effort to gain weight there is no point in even beginning this endeavor. There are only three seemingly easy steps, but I assure you they are not as easy as one might think. However, with full commitment you should see results in a matter of days.

First, you must not even consider exercise. Exceptions can be made if you have a dog that needs to be walked, but for best results you must be as inactive as possible. It is also important to note that walking around the mall, Target or any other store is not considered exercise and can be done liberally.

Second, eat. A lot. Eat foods that aren't good for you. Eat foods you haven't eaten in months because they weren't on your diet plan. And eat as much of them as you would like. Make sure there are plenty of birthdays being celebrated so you can take full advantage of the extra cake calories. Eat at your favorite restaurants and forget about ordering a salad. Maximize your calorie intake with plenty of french fries and cheese curds. And don't forget about the ice cream. Make sure you try as many flavors as possible as often as possible. Do not let all that homemade fatty goodness go to waste.

The third and perhaps most difficult step is drinking beer. Now there's no need to overdue it. The equivalent of one a day is plenty if you haven't been drinking beer for the last few months. Beer has loads of calories, especially those amazing micro brews that are so prominent in Wisconsin. Try them all, find one you like, and drink loads of it. You will not regret it once you see the results.

Of course there are other variations on these three steps, so this is meant to be only a basic outline. And as always, feel free to contact me directly with any comments, questions or concerns. Happy gaining!

Charitable Warm and Fuzzies

As many of you know, I'm still struggling with the loss of my hair. I've gone past the anger phase, but at least once a week I find myself thinking, "if only I still had my long hair..." Despite this, I would not think twice about recommending that every woman (or daring man) I know do the same thing. Even if you only donate once it is such a worthwhile cause and when you get that postcard in the mail saving they've received your hair you really do feel warm and fuzzy. Well, at least I did. Whenever I feel down about my bare neck I remind myself that some little girl needed my hair much more than I did.

What's even more rad is that through my donation to Locks of Love (http://www.locksoflove.org/) I found out about another charity opportunity through Hotels Combined. And you don't even need to cut off 13 inches of your hair! All you have to do is give them a shout out on your blog, friend them on Facebook or mention them on your Twitter (although I am pretty opposed to Twitter, but if you're into it that's your choice). They'll donate either $5, $10 or $20 to WWF, Make a Wish or World Vision on your behalf and you get the warm and fuzzies for doing something you'd do anyway: waste your time on the interwebs. Check them out. It only takes a minute and it could do a world of good for someone else. Plus, who doesn't like to feel warm and fuzzy?

I recommend Hotels Combined and sent $20 to World Vision!

You can shout and help too.

Life Is Too Short

I don't know much but I know that life is too short...

to worry about problems you cannot fix.

to always be looking for the bad in a situation instead of the good.

to be uptight. For God's sake, laugh a little.

to not smile, laugh or cry tears of joy at every possible opportunity.

to burn bridges instead of building bonds.

to not tell your nearest and dearest that you love them; as often as possible.

to take it so seriously.

to take yourself so seriously.

to not at least try to make your dreams a reality.

to lose sleep over those who would not lose sleep over you.

to wait around for yours to begin.

to expect opportunities to fall in your lap.

to put your happiness in someone else's hands.

to not at least forget if you can't forgive.

to take advantage of those who love you.

to let those you love take advantage of you.

to not put yourself first when necessary.

to let love pass you by.

to not experience as much of it as possible before your time is up.

Patsy and Becky Go to Stockholm (Wisconsin)

One of the best things about being home this summer has been spending so much time with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Jill/Patsy. We're both busy ladies, so we don't get to talk very often when I'm off living here or there, and most of the time I'm only home for a week so I only see her once for a short period of time. Fortuitously, she and her husband only live a mile from my Gram's, so I've been able to see her several times a week. Our latest adventure was to Stockholm...Wisconsin.

I drive past this cute little town every time I drive from La Crosse to my parent's in Baldwin and have always wanted to stop (by always I mean for the last month). I roped in Patsy and we were off.

Stockholm is filled with cute little shops and restaurants. There's also a winery/cidery that was closed, much to my dismay. We spent the morning shopping and after an unsuccessful attempt at the winery had lunch at Gelly's. I'd been craving a bloody mary for weeks (don't judge) and was pleased to find that there's came highly recommended. As a connoisseur I had to try. Perfectly spiced and marvelously garnished, I was not disappointed.

Although completely stuffed from lunch we had to stop at the Nelson Creamery on the way home. Sadly, we were too full to adequately take in the fabulous meat and cheese selection, but we did manage to make room for a strawberry ice cream cone. I'm not sure I can say it's better than The Pearl, but at only $1 (!) a cone I'd say it's close. Either way, it was well worth the digestional discomfort.

10 Reasons My Gram Is Probably Cooler Than Yours

1. She's lived through The Depression, World War II, raising 4 children on the farm, being married for 58 years and losing the love of her life five years ago.

2. She was a self-proclaimed work horse. She pulled her weight on the farm and helped Grandpa with the milking and the business end of things. Never one to just a farm wife, she's the matriarch of our family. It has always been, "What Grandma says, goes".

3. She has a wicked sense of humor. She has always not only loved to laugh, but loved to make others laugh too.

4. She's conservative, but she listens with an open-mind to her flaming liberal granddaughter's rantings. What's even cooler is that she accepts that I'm liberal and she doesn't try to change me.

5. She's nosey and a bit of a gossip (two traits I absolutely inherited from her), and she's unapologetic about it. Yet, she has a heart of gold and could never be malicious or unkind.

6. She is the definition of generous. She still volunteers her time for the church in whatever way possible. You tell her you like something she'll either give you hers or she'll find another, better one for you. She wouldn't think twice about it and she'd never expect a thank you.

7. She and Grandpa helped raise my brother and me (our mom traveled and our dad was a firefighter). I love my parents dearly, but I still hold that everything good about me comes from them.

8. In her hay-day she could out cook, out garden and out sew anyone. Although she doesn't cook as often as she used to, but when she does it is guaranteed to be the best meal you've had in a long time. Her mashed potatoes are in my opinion the best...in the world. Also, she makes a killer tuna fish and apple sandwich (sounds weird, I know, but I promise you tuna will never be the same for you after you've tried it).

9. She loves unconditionally, unrelentingly and selflessly. She still accepts my mom (her ex-daughter-in-law) as family. She has "adopted" numerous grandchildren, and even children. Once she opens up her heart to you, you're in for life.

10. She's 87 today and although time and age have taken their toll on her body, she has higher spirits than anyone I know.

First Annual Father/Daughter Tour de Trempealeau

I really enjoy spending time with my dad. We both really enjoy spending time outdoors and eating. So in the spirit of father/daughter bonding I suggested that we bike from Onalaska to Trempealeau to have lunch at the famed Trempealeau Hotel. Dad was pumped, but it was not until I told my mom about this adventure that I realized what I was getting myself into...a 30 mile bike. Having barely ridden more than 10 miles in the past year I was mildly concerned that I would either a.) fall off my bike or b.) be too tired/sore/out of shape to complete the journey.

I am happy to report that neither were an issue. Riding a bike really is like a riding a bike; you never forget and unless you're a completely uncoordinated schmuck you shouldn't be falling off. And quitting anything is not really an option when Dave Pertzsch is involved.

Lunch was well worth the ride if only for the walnut balls. The Trempealeau Hotel is famous for their walnut burgers (now available at Festival Foods - I highly recommend trying them), which you can get in the form of a ball as a starter. Delicious. Although the recipe used at the hotel is supposedly a secret that will not stop me from scouring the interweb until I can find something similar.

Conversation always comes easily for Papa Bear and I. Highlights for me were my continued attempts to get him to make an appointment for a physical and his brief lecture on Lance Armstrong's mental endurance. I think talking about Lance when on such a long bike journey is mandatory.

Overall it was a great way to spend an afternoon. We returned to Grandma's where I promptly began complaining about how much my butt hurt. Dad, on the other hand, hopped back on his bike and did an extra 4 miles back to his house. Shown up by my 59 year old dad again. Such is life.

26.5

Unfortunately, I am not half way done with my list of resolutions, but sadly I am half way done with me 26th year.

Making Myself More Marketable as a Wife or You Can Just Call Me Martha

I've had a considerable amount of time on my hands since returning to Wisconsin for the summer 4 weeks ago. Where I would usually enjoy filling my days with shopping, lunching, brunching or cocktailing limited means and an even more limited number of friends left here have reduced those opportunities. Left to my own devices I am apparently working on becoming a mini-Martha Stewart.

It started with the cooking. I've known for quite some time now, but have only admitted to a select view, that I am actually a pretty decent (I'd even venture to say "good") cook. I know my way around the kitchen and actually enjoy reading cookbooks. Most disturbingly my favorite cookbooks are the healthy ones. Noticing that the meals here at Grandma's house were pretty limited (my uncle does most of the cooking now and after being a bachelor for 55 years his cooking skills haven't evolved much, but he tries really hard), I decided to step up to the plate and offered to cook a few dinners. After a week of playing housewife (my job is also to clean up all the dinner dishes and I usually busy myself with other little cleaning projects), I decided cooking a full meal every night (including desert) was maybe a little ambitious. Maybe we won't be cooking every day because really there's nothing wrong with frozen pizza every once and a while.

However, cooking is clearly the gateway drug of the domestic world because suddenly I was overcome with the desire to sew. I've attempted to pick up this activity several times before but have always been unsuccessful. I know how to fix a seam or a button so I always figured that was enough. Plus the patterns and fabrics never really enticed me. I even went so far as to give away my sewing machine to my sister figuring I'd never make use of it. But, lo and behold, I've gotten hooked and yesterday my dear Auntie Kar helped me complete my first project. Just a simple apron to go with my new image as mini-Martha.