Somewhere in my twenties I decided it was always best to assume that every guy I meet already has a girlfriend. Therefore, every guy, unless otherwise specified it off limits to me. I know this is illogical and counterproductive thinking, but it has served me well. Oh, wait, no, it actually hasn't at all, but that is neither here nor there in regards to the current topic.
What is important is that somewhere along the line this became true. Now that I'm in my late twenties it seems that yes, all guys (at least those I might be interested in) do in fact have girlfriends. I missed the memo: grab a boyfriend as fast as you can before they are all gone. Oops! My b! I was busy being adventurous and vagabonding across the country, figuring out who it is exactly that I am. I figured that was more important. I still do, but while I was out collecting life experience I was also ignoring the boys that really didn't have girlfriends. I as busy building up a wall with all my mental postcards and now all I have to show for it are pictures and stories.
I have lost many of my guy friends over the years and with everyone pairing off like they're getting ready to board the ark it hasn't been easy to replace them. Through experience that I prefer not to get into here, I have learned that it is best not to try to do so with boys that have girlfriends. Let me just say, it generally does not end with you gaining a friend. Too often it ends with complication and mess.
Mess that can be avoided by simply avoiding boys with girlfriends. So apparently this means I just avoid guys in general. Luckily, I'm already off to an awesome start.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Be Grateful (Day 7)
When I was living in London I remember having a discussion with a bloke who had recently visited the MidWest. Naturally, I asked him what he thought. He commented that he felt like everyone was fake. I was flabbergasted. How could this be? His response: everyone is so friendly there, no one can really be that friendly. Oh, but we are, my friend, we are.
Today I am grateful for being from the MidWest.
I am in no rush to move back to Wisconsin, but every time I go home I realize how blessed I am to have grown up there. Not only are La Crosse and the Mississippi Valley extremely gorgeous and picturesque, but the people there are genuine and welcoming. They are happy to strike up a conversation with anyone, happy to lend an ear or a hand to a stranger and truly know the meaning of friendly. They don't look at you like you have a second head when you ask for a favor and they don't brush you off when you just feel like a chat as you're checking out at the grocery store.
I'm quite convinced life would look a little darker if I had grown up somewhere else because I am certain my sunny disposition can be attributed to the great state of Wisconsin.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
No Re-wear Challenge
Closet Shopping
As some of my loyal readers will remember, last year I did a lot of closet shopping. I hadn't done any in a while, so last week I decided to dig out some stuff I couldn't remembering wearing since I'd moved to Portland. Naturally, I only remembered to take pictures two days...it was a very busy week for this graduate student.
Monday - Animal Instincts
Shirt Dress: Gap
Cardigan: Macy's
Leggings: Target
Belt: Forever21 (?)
Ballet Flats: Target (you can't see them)
I love wearing this belt with outfits that would otherwise be fairly boring. I happened to get loads of compliments on it this day, which is always nice.
Necklace and matching earrings: gift from me mum (purchased in Italy)
Tuesday - Spring Awakening
Top: Urban Outfitters
Shorts: H&M
Tights: Gap (?)
Flats: gift from me mum (Steve Madden)
Earrings: Forever21
I bought this outfit last spring when I was in New York. I love the top, especially when paired with this vibrant orange scarf I purchased during the same trip. In fact, I wore it that night to class.
What is so great about closet shopping is not only did I find some things I forgot I owned, but I also discovered that many of them are now too big. A nice little ego boost and a lot of encouragement to keep working my butt off (literally, apparently) at the gym.
Days of No Re-wear: 33
As some of my loyal readers will remember, last year I did a lot of closet shopping. I hadn't done any in a while, so last week I decided to dig out some stuff I couldn't remembering wearing since I'd moved to Portland. Naturally, I only remembered to take pictures two days...it was a very busy week for this graduate student.
Monday - Animal Instincts
Shirt Dress: Gap
Cardigan: Macy's
Leggings: Target
Belt: Forever21 (?)
Ballet Flats: Target (you can't see them)
I love wearing this belt with outfits that would otherwise be fairly boring. I happened to get loads of compliments on it this day, which is always nice.
Necklace and matching earrings: gift from me mum (purchased in Italy)
Tuesday - Spring Awakening
Top: Urban Outfitters
Shorts: H&M
Tights: Gap (?)
Flats: gift from me mum (Steve Madden)
Earrings: Forever21
I bought this outfit last spring when I was in New York. I love the top, especially when paired with this vibrant orange scarf I purchased during the same trip. In fact, I wore it that night to class.
What is so great about closet shopping is not only did I find some things I forgot I owned, but I also discovered that many of them are now too big. A nice little ego boost and a lot of encouragement to keep working my butt off (literally, apparently) at the gym.
Days of No Re-wear: 33
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Case Against Internet Dating
Let me first preface this by saying that I am not against internet dating or matchmaking sites in their entirety. I have numerous friends who have used them, all of whom have been successful and are now in committed relationships as a result. They are just not for me, so please don't be offended or take anything I say hereafter personally. It's not about you, it's about me.
In all honesty, I can't quite wrap my head around finding love on-line. I guess maybe that isn't such a big surprise since I am not such a fan of technology. I resisted a digital camera for years, I currently refuse to get anything close to a smart phone, I have on more than one occasion called my mom to help me with computer problems. I have also very intentionally decided to go into a field that requires minimal interactions with computers. I might seem like a pretty modern lady, but when it comes down to it I am as old fashioned as they come. Thus, I refuse to allow myself to use technology to find love.
I'm sure if you asked some of my friends they would tell you that I'm just being pig headed and stubborn, but I am here to tell you this is not the case (at least not in this particular circumstance). I do want to find love, someone to share my life with, but I don't want it to involve a computer. I have been ruined for anything else and here is how.
1. My grandparents were, and still are, the greatest love story I have ever heard. They were set up by my grandma's future brother-in-law when my grandpa was stationed in Texas and she was living in Dallas. Their first (blind) date was a lunch date. My grandpa picked up my grandma at the office of a liquor store where she worked as a bookkeeper (very scandalous for a good Baptist girl) and they went to a local diner. Grandma was hooked right away, Grandpa was a very handsome and charming man, and that was that. They kept in touch while he was in Europe fighting and he proposed by letter, even sending money for her to buy a ring (that I'm pretty sure she still wears). They were married for 58 years when my grandpa passed away and they were just as in love then as they day they were married.
2. Even though my parents are not still married, they are still friends and they were married for 25 years. They met at a bar in downtown La Crosse when my dad approached my mom because they were in a class together and he had liked a skirt she had worn. A skirt she claims was extremely ugly. After their first date she went back to her roommate and proclaimed she was going to marry him, and less than a year later she did. My mom still laughs every time she tells the story and my dad still acts mildly embarrassed.
3. My mom and step-dad were friends for about 15 years before they got married. He was her boss for years; I can remember her telling stories about him at the dinner table. She always referred to him as Beard. Although he is several years (18 to be exact) years her senior they are in fact best friends. I have rarely seen them argue, and they seem to have a love and respect for each other that I can only attribute to their strong friendship. My step-dad's advice for a successful marriage: marry a friend.
4. My dad and step-mom were set up by family friends, and I was pretty sure from the get-go that they were going to work out. They took a short break a year or so into their relationship and I cried for days; I was convinced my dad wasn't going to find anyone else as well suited for him. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but they have a great partnership and a whole lot of respect for one another. They balance each other out well and in April they will be married 10 years.
5. My Aunt Karen got married a little later in life to maybe not the nicest guy in the world. I adore my Aunt Karen, so needless to say I was deeply saddened to discover she was going to be single again. When she moved back to Wisconsin I wondered what she would do, I didn't want her to be sad or lonely. I was worrying in vein. She met my Uncle Jim when he came into her work at city hall. They had known each other when they were younger through farming, but hadn't kept in touch and were never close friends. He, unlike her first husband, is a kind and gentle man, much like my grandpa. He has a killer sense of humor and doesn't waste his words. I wasn't sure at first if I was supposed to call him uncle since I was 22 or so when they married, but it didn't take long for me to decide on my own that I wanted him to be my uncle. I love listening to them talk about retiring and growing old together, it makes my heart smile.
All of these great love stories I have heard or witnessed in my life and none of them include the internet. I want the same for myself. I want the same great love that my grandparents, parents and aunt have found and I want it the good old fashioned way. I want to tell my kids a great story about how I met Dad at some random place at some random time and how magical it was. I admittedly have very high standards and will settle for nothing less. And if it doesn't happen? It doesn't happen and it wasn't meant to be.
In all honesty, I can't quite wrap my head around finding love on-line. I guess maybe that isn't such a big surprise since I am not such a fan of technology. I resisted a digital camera for years, I currently refuse to get anything close to a smart phone, I have on more than one occasion called my mom to help me with computer problems. I have also very intentionally decided to go into a field that requires minimal interactions with computers. I might seem like a pretty modern lady, but when it comes down to it I am as old fashioned as they come. Thus, I refuse to allow myself to use technology to find love.
I'm sure if you asked some of my friends they would tell you that I'm just being pig headed and stubborn, but I am here to tell you this is not the case (at least not in this particular circumstance). I do want to find love, someone to share my life with, but I don't want it to involve a computer. I have been ruined for anything else and here is how.
1. My grandparents were, and still are, the greatest love story I have ever heard. They were set up by my grandma's future brother-in-law when my grandpa was stationed in Texas and she was living in Dallas. Their first (blind) date was a lunch date. My grandpa picked up my grandma at the office of a liquor store where she worked as a bookkeeper (very scandalous for a good Baptist girl) and they went to a local diner. Grandma was hooked right away, Grandpa was a very handsome and charming man, and that was that. They kept in touch while he was in Europe fighting and he proposed by letter, even sending money for her to buy a ring (that I'm pretty sure she still wears). They were married for 58 years when my grandpa passed away and they were just as in love then as they day they were married.
2. Even though my parents are not still married, they are still friends and they were married for 25 years. They met at a bar in downtown La Crosse when my dad approached my mom because they were in a class together and he had liked a skirt she had worn. A skirt she claims was extremely ugly. After their first date she went back to her roommate and proclaimed she was going to marry him, and less than a year later she did. My mom still laughs every time she tells the story and my dad still acts mildly embarrassed.
3. My mom and step-dad were friends for about 15 years before they got married. He was her boss for years; I can remember her telling stories about him at the dinner table. She always referred to him as Beard. Although he is several years (18 to be exact) years her senior they are in fact best friends. I have rarely seen them argue, and they seem to have a love and respect for each other that I can only attribute to their strong friendship. My step-dad's advice for a successful marriage: marry a friend.
4. My dad and step-mom were set up by family friends, and I was pretty sure from the get-go that they were going to work out. They took a short break a year or so into their relationship and I cried for days; I was convinced my dad wasn't going to find anyone else as well suited for him. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but they have a great partnership and a whole lot of respect for one another. They balance each other out well and in April they will be married 10 years.
5. My Aunt Karen got married a little later in life to maybe not the nicest guy in the world. I adore my Aunt Karen, so needless to say I was deeply saddened to discover she was going to be single again. When she moved back to Wisconsin I wondered what she would do, I didn't want her to be sad or lonely. I was worrying in vein. She met my Uncle Jim when he came into her work at city hall. They had known each other when they were younger through farming, but hadn't kept in touch and were never close friends. He, unlike her first husband, is a kind and gentle man, much like my grandpa. He has a killer sense of humor and doesn't waste his words. I wasn't sure at first if I was supposed to call him uncle since I was 22 or so when they married, but it didn't take long for me to decide on my own that I wanted him to be my uncle. I love listening to them talk about retiring and growing old together, it makes my heart smile.
All of these great love stories I have heard or witnessed in my life and none of them include the internet. I want the same for myself. I want the same great love that my grandparents, parents and aunt have found and I want it the good old fashioned way. I want to tell my kids a great story about how I met Dad at some random place at some random time and how magical it was. I admittedly have very high standards and will settle for nothing less. And if it doesn't happen? It doesn't happen and it wasn't meant to be.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
No Re-wear Challenge
Nothing Fancy Here
Last week, in honor of getting old, I decided to dare myself to wear a t-shirt and jeans every day. For those of you who know me well, you know I don't very often wear jeans, let alone every day for 7 days. Since my outfits weren't very inspirational I forgot to take pictures every day but one...my birthday!
Tuesday - Marriage is gay.
Sweater: Gap
T-shirt: on-line purchase **
Jeans: Gap
Boots (you can't see): E-bay
Days of No Re-wear: 26
** If you like my t-shirt and are a supporter of the cause, please consider buying one of you own at www.marriageissogay.com. You can choose a charity that you would like a portion of the proceeds to be shared with.
Last week, in honor of getting old, I decided to dare myself to wear a t-shirt and jeans every day. For those of you who know me well, you know I don't very often wear jeans, let alone every day for 7 days. Since my outfits weren't very inspirational I forgot to take pictures every day but one...my birthday!
Tuesday - Marriage is gay.
Sweater: Gap
T-shirt: on-line purchase **
Jeans: Gap
Boots (you can't see): E-bay
Days of No Re-wear: 26
** If you like my t-shirt and are a supporter of the cause, please consider buying one of you own at www.marriageissogay.com. You can choose a charity that you would like a portion of the proceeds to be shared with.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
No Re-wear Challenge
Better late than never...it's been a bit of a busy week.
Mono y Mono
Last week's theme was black and white.
Monday - Trailblazer
Blazer: Old Navy
Dress: H&M
Tights: Target
Boots (you can't see): Ebay
Necklace: Etsy
Tuesday - Don't forget your pencil (skirt)
Vest: Some random store at Tempe Marketplace
T-shirt: H&M
Skirt: H&M
Tights: American Apparel
Bracelet: Forever21 (gift from Peter)
Earrings: Urban Outfitters (gift from Lindsay Haney)
Flats: Target
Wednesday - Hip-hip hipster
T-shirt: Primark
Tank top: Target
Jeans: H&M
Scarf: ??
Earrings: Forever21
Shoes: TOMS **
Days of no re-wear: 19
** If you like my TOMS please consider buying a pair of your own. For every pair you buy a pair is given to a child in need. Check them out at www.tomsshoes.com.
Mono y Mono
Last week's theme was black and white.
Monday - Trailblazer
Blazer: Old Navy
Dress: H&M
Tights: Target
Boots (you can't see): Ebay
Necklace: Etsy
Tuesday - Don't forget your pencil (skirt)
Vest: Some random store at Tempe Marketplace
T-shirt: H&M
Skirt: H&M
Tights: American Apparel
Bracelet: Forever21 (gift from Peter)
Earrings: Urban Outfitters (gift from Lindsay Haney)
Flats: Target
Wednesday - Hip-hip hipster
T-shirt: Primark
Tank top: Target
Jeans: H&M
Scarf: ??
Earrings: Forever21
Shoes: TOMS **
Days of no re-wear: 19
** If you like my TOMS please consider buying a pair of your own. For every pair you buy a pair is given to a child in need. Check them out at www.tomsshoes.com.
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