Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

I am friends with someone on Facebook that for the past four years has been the only person that I would ever say I disliked. If I'm being honest, there were points when I downright hated this person. I could not stand to be in the same room as them and whenever their name was brought up I would draw back as if having just been slapped in the face. Slowly I moved from hating to strongly disliking, from feeling like I'd been slapped to slapping down some nasty side comments. I felt this was progress. I was certain that the closest I was ever going to get to forgiving this person was not cursing the very air they breathed.

Now, I know what you are thinking, why in the hell did I accept this person's friend request? Well, the answer is simple, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Also, I was secretly hoping that I would be able to witness this person's demise via an electronic medium.

No such luck.

However, what I have been able to do is move from blind hatred to apathetic disliking to simple apathy and today the train finally stopped at forgiveness. This person had made a status update that I had considered commenting on but was in a rush to get out for a run and didn't. I did however think about this update as I was walking home from the gym and for the first time I found myself thinking positively about this person. Not just in a way that I wish peace to all mankind, but in a way that I specifically wanted good things for this specific person. My pace suddenly slowed and I realized that forgiveness is not something you give someone else, but rather something you give yourself. I suddenly felt lighter, as if a tremendous weight had lifted from within my heart.

As my pace quickened I smiled and for the first time released the grudge I had been holding tightly for so many years. And in its place I let in light and love.