Friday, February 12, 2010

My Case Against Internet Dating

Let me first preface this by saying that I am not against internet dating or matchmaking sites in their entirety. I have numerous friends who have used them, all of whom have been successful and are now in committed relationships as a result. They are just not for me, so please don't be offended or take anything I say hereafter personally. It's not about you, it's about me.

In all honesty, I can't quite wrap my head around finding love on-line. I guess maybe that isn't such a big surprise since I am not such a fan of technology. I resisted a digital camera for years, I currently refuse to get anything close to a smart phone, I have on more than one occasion called my mom to help me with computer problems. I have also very intentionally decided to go into a field that requires minimal interactions with computers. I might seem like a pretty modern lady, but when it comes down to it I am as old fashioned as they come. Thus, I refuse to allow myself to use technology to find love.

I'm sure if you asked some of my friends they would tell you that I'm just being pig headed and stubborn, but I am here to tell you this is not the case (at least not in this particular circumstance). I do want to find love, someone to share my life with, but I don't want it to involve a computer. I have been ruined for anything else and here is how.

1. My grandparents were, and still are, the greatest love story I have ever heard. They were set up by my grandma's future brother-in-law when my grandpa was stationed in Texas and she was living in Dallas. Their first (blind) date was a lunch date. My grandpa picked up my grandma at the office of a liquor store where she worked as a bookkeeper (very scandalous for a good Baptist girl) and they went to a local diner. Grandma was hooked right away, Grandpa was a very handsome and charming man, and that was that. They kept in touch while he was in Europe fighting and he proposed by letter, even sending money for her to buy a ring (that I'm pretty sure she still wears). They were married for 58 years when my grandpa passed away and they were just as in love then as they day they were married.

2. Even though my parents are not still married, they are still friends and they were married for 25 years. They met at a bar in downtown La Crosse when my dad approached my mom because they were in a class together and he had liked a skirt she had worn. A skirt she claims was extremely ugly. After their first date she went back to her roommate and proclaimed she was going to marry him, and less than a year later she did. My mom still laughs every time she tells the story and my dad still acts mildly embarrassed.

3. My mom and step-dad were friends for about 15 years before they got married. He was her boss for years; I can remember her telling stories about him at the dinner table. She always referred to him as Beard. Although he is several years (18 to be exact) years her senior they are in fact best friends. I have rarely seen them argue, and they seem to have a love and respect for each other that I can only attribute to their strong friendship. My step-dad's advice for a successful marriage: marry a friend.

4. My dad and step-mom were set up by family friends, and I was pretty sure from the get-go that they were going to work out. They took a short break a year or so into their relationship and I cried for days; I was convinced my dad wasn't going to find anyone else as well suited for him. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but they have a great partnership and a whole lot of respect for one another. They balance each other out well and in April they will be married 10 years.

5. My Aunt Karen got married a little later in life to maybe not the nicest guy in the world. I adore my Aunt Karen, so needless to say I was deeply saddened to discover she was going to be single again. When she moved back to Wisconsin I wondered what she would do, I didn't want her to be sad or lonely. I was worrying in vein. She met my Uncle Jim when he came into her work at city hall. They had known each other when they were younger through farming, but hadn't kept in touch and were never close friends. He, unlike her first husband, is a kind and gentle man, much like my grandpa. He has a killer sense of humor and doesn't waste his words. I wasn't sure at first if I was supposed to call him uncle since I was 22 or so when they married, but it didn't take long for me to decide on my own that I wanted him to be my uncle. I love listening to them talk about retiring and growing old together, it makes my heart smile.

All of these great love stories I have heard or witnessed in my life and none of them include the internet. I want the same for myself. I want the same great love that my grandparents, parents and aunt have found and I want it the good old fashioned way. I want to tell my kids a great story about how I met Dad at some random place at some random time and how magical it was. I admittedly have very high standards and will settle for nothing less. And if it doesn't happen? It doesn't happen and it wasn't meant to be.

No comments:

Post a Comment