Not a New Year's Resolution

I am fundamentally opposed to New Year's resolutions. The idea that somehow because it is a new year on the calendar you will change behaviors that have previously been problematic is preposterous to me. Does is being 2011 instead of 2010 really make a difference when it comes to how many times you'll hit the gym this year? or how many cigarettes you smoke? or how often you call your mother? Be honest. No, it doesn't.

I gave up on New Year's resolutions years ago.

This year will be no exception, but upon reflecting on 2010 I realized that there has been one area of my life that is in desperate need of repair. While I know most of you are anticipating that I'm going to say my love life, you're wrong. (That will continue to maintain its position on the back burner of my life.) However, it is my relationships that are lacking and this is predominantly due to my seeming lack of ability to communicate. It is hard to admit this, but it is true. I have done a crap job of keeping in touch with far too many friends and family members this year, and the old excuse of being too busy just does not fly.

If you make the time you'll have the time and I simply have not made the time. Too often I sat on the couch thinking "oh, I should call so and so" and did not or spent too much time on Facebook neglecting to respond to all of those messages piling up. While I pushed myself physically to be my best, I let myself become emotionally lazy and neglectful. I let too many lines of communication grow silent.

For someone who has always prided herself on being a good friend, this realization has come like a slap to the face with a cold hand. How did I not see it coming? I suppose the how it is not important now, it has happened and all that I can do now is shake off the pain, hold my head up high and pick up the telephone. And hope that the person at the other end answers.