Last night I had a dream about a boy I had a crush on my freshman year of college. This came as no surprise to me as I have been exceedingly nostalgic as of late. That, and I am still Facebook friends with this guy and he's still pretty hot. However, that is beside the point right now.
Last week at work they seemed to be playing the greatest hits of Edward's Bootlycious Night. At first I was impervious to these lyrical throwbacks, but as the days went by the songs began to take me back to the days of bopping around without a care in the world. Except that isn't the truth at all, I had plenty of cares. But it is not the bopping around that I miss, it's the excitement.
When I was in college (and those few years just after) I made a lot of bad decisions. I thought doing stupid things made me more interesting. I stayed out too late, I drank too much and I wasted too much time with boys who treated me badly. I thought I was exciting and that this drama I surrounded myself with made my life more exciting too. I was wrong, I know that, but I still miss the hell out of it. I do not miss the drama, but I do miss the excitement that always seemed to accompany it.
I miss having crushes and wondering if a boy with call or text me. I long for the days when the thought of sitting at home on a Friday night made me cringe. I miss being able to make bad decisions and not worry about the long term consequences. Shoot, I just miss making bad decisions. I miss not feeling like I'm too old for something.
On a perhaps kismet related note, I looked up the definition for nostalgia on Merriam Webster and one of the entries was as follows: He was filled with nostalgia for his college days.
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