When I Grow Up I Want to Be French

It's a not so well known fact that I love pretty much everything French: music, films, the language, the food, the men (although they always seem to be a little short) and the toast. But most of all I love the way that French women dress. They have such an effortless grace, like no matter what they put on they are going to look fantastic. I hate them for it! And I constantly strive for that same seemingly effortless fabulousness. Last night I made one such attempt for the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs show.

Really, I just put on a vertical striped shirt and suddenly I think I look French. Probably not. However, I did finally manage to style my hair in a way that I don't entirely hate.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I've been up to a lot the past few months, mostly traveling, and I hope to share more about that...but one of the biggest things just happened yesterday. I finally decided it was time to donate my hair to Locks of Love. Unfortunately, in my nervous rush to get to the salon I forgot to take a tape measurer and my stylist couldn't find one either. Not wanting to fall short of the 10 inch minimum we just decided that's she'd chop off as much as possible, which ended up being 13 inches (I measured when I got home). I'm not thrilled with the results, but I'm sure it will grow on me (hahahahahaha, bun intended).

What do you think?

Overzealous

As many people close to me can attest to, I tend to go at things full force and then just lose interest all together. More often than I should be I'm overzealous for a short period of time and then I'm underzealous (yeah, I just made that word up) until I'm over it. However, after having several complaints from friends and family I've decided not to let that happen here. I sincerely apologize for my absence and promise to make it up to you...

Down to the Wire

I'm going to be honest with you, this economy can kiss me bum! It seems that everyone has had the genius idea to go back to school and with universities making budget cuts left and right something has to give. So what gives? Me! Today I had a very nice denied e-mail from Portland State. So sweet those Oregonians.

So now not only are all my eggs in a Portland basket, but that basket is now marked Lewis & Clark. If that falls through there are only two things left to do.

1. Become a raging alcoholic and just give up on pursuing my dreams (getting out of AZ and working towards a career in counseling).

OR

2. Start looking elsewhere. I may make it back to London yet! Or at least a little closer...New York, I'm looking your way.

Enjoy the Silence

Sorry I haven't been as diligent as I should be. They're cracking down and monitoring our internet browsing at work, which unfortunately limits my opportunities to write. Foiled! I pinky swear I'll post something worthwhile, witty and wordy soon.

Budget Cuts

Like our government, most Fortune 500 companies and ASU I have decided to make some fairly drastic budget cuts for 2009 (at least until further notice). There are certain things I am not willing to live without so in order to have those I have to give up a few other things. Here are the areas that will be hit:

1. "Literary" entertainment. No more magazines! I spend around $25 a month on magazines, sometimes more if I'm traveling. I'm not saying I'm not going to buy one every once and a while, but there is certainly no need to buy one or more a week. At $4 a pop, it's almost as expensive as smoking. And I get nothing out of it other than useless celebrity gossip and more motivation to shop.

2. Shopping. No new, old, used, thrifted or E-bayed clothes, shoes, or accessories. Although I will gladly accept gifts and hand-me-downs. :)

3. "Liquid" entertainment. This is where the two drink limit comes in. I know I've gone in to this before, but I'm cementing in here. Week three and going strong!

4. "Edible" entertainment. I eat out way too much. It's the easiest way to see friends and relatively speaking it can be inexpensive, except when you're going out at least 5 times a week. That adds up fast and hits the wallet quick. This will certainly be the hardest cut to make, so I'm still contemplating the stipulations. I'm thinking no more than 3 times a week. Hey, that's like a 50% cut!

5. Beauty products. I have a problem when it comes to the beauty aisle at Target. If you look in my shower right now you'll find 2 different kinds of body wash, 2 kinds of shampoo, 3 kinds of conditioner, body scrub, 2 kinds of face wash and 2 types of shaving cream. Ridiculous! This is so beyond necessary and incredibly expensive. More than that I have enough hair products to stock a salon.

6. Target entertainment. No more needless Target purchases. That place is my cryptonite! I can easily drop $50 going in for Q-tips. Here's the rule: I can only go when I need something and I can only buy what I have on my list. If it's not on the list then it's not in my basket.

7. Pet supplies. Hendrix is crazy spoiled! She has more toys than some toddlers. She absolutely does not need them all. She can only play with one at a time and she most certainly cannot tell the difference between any of them. On top of that she has a live in playmate to entertain her. And really, those things are about $10 each. That means there's at least $100 dollars in dirty, slobbery dog toys hanging around my house.

So there you have, the 2009 Kelly Marie Pertzsch budget cuts.

Hurts So Good

Have you ever watched the end of an Ironman? You know when the athletes are falling all over the place and walking like zombies? I always find it really comical to watch. I know, I know, it's sick and mean and probably shows some kind of lack of self-esteem on my part. But come on, that stuff's funny!

Anyway, karma has a funny way of biting me on the bum and has done so this week. All my laughing at those intense and amazing athletes has come back to me in the form of my own little Ironman walk. Sunday I had my second appointment with Dan the Personal Training Man and he royally kicked my arse. I'm talking squats after squats after squats followed by some weights. Needless to say, I have not walked the same since.

Naturally I'm quite convinced that people are looking at me like I'm a lunatic or some kind of polio survivor. Or perhaps they are thinking "Wow, that girl must have rode that horse for a really long time". There is also the possibility that they assume I have injured myself in some obscure manor, but not one person has said a word about it. This leads me to believe that either a.) it really isn't as bad as I think or the more likely b.) people don't want to embarrass me or, more importantly, themselves by asking.

Not only can I hardly walk, but sitting is about the most excruciating activity imaginable. Every time I sit down at my desk I let out a silent cry of pain. I fear getting into the car and don't even get me started on the terror a trip to the bathroom instills. But in the end it will all be worth it to have smaller, cellulite-free thighs (this really is just wishful thinking, but the smaller part is true). When I'm slipping on my size 8 jeans I'll think, "Ha! How funny it was when I couldn't walk for 3 days, but look at how fabulous I am now!" Or at least that is what I tell myself when I get out of bed in the morning and fall straight to the ground because my legs are still so freaking sore!!

On a side note, I had planned on calling this entry "It Hurts When I Pee", but I didn't want to cause any offense. Except now I've said it anyway and have probably offended at least one of you. Sorry, my B!