Sometimes Mum is Right

I think it is fair to say that most women (whoa, yes, I just referred to girls as women) my age have at least the slightest bit of fear about turning into their mother. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum. She's an awesome and inspiring lady. She has done far more with her life than I'm sure I ever will and thus has taught me that being a strong woman is where it's at. But in many respects we are polar opposites. Sure, I insist that my towels are folded a certain way (not her way, but nonetheless it's an inherited trait) and that the toilet paper must come from the top down, but I am the hippie child that my mum cannot figure out how she spawned. On more than one occasion I have heard her say, "how did you turn out like this?" Not in a bad way. She loves me, hippie, flightiness and all, but looks aside, the apple obviously rolled down the hill after it fell off the tree.

Needless to say, my mum and I do not always see eye to eye (mostly on all things relating to politics and my love of Barack Obama and her love of Sarah Palin). We hardly ever argue, but it is generally agreed that we simply do not agree. However, political views aside, my mum is a pretty insightful lady. I rarely make any kind of major decision without consulting her and she truly is one of my best friends. If I have a terrible day, it is her number that I dial first.

It seems strange, but we did not become close until after my parents divorced. Prior to that I was an annoyed tween that was generally quite unpleasant. Mostly because I didn't like myself very much. It was during this time that Mum started preaching the gospel of "You only get better with age". I didn't see how this could be possible. I only saw myself getting uglier and fatter. I'd probably end up with braces (I did) and glasses (those too) and be alone with my cats (except I'm allergic) for the rest of my life. What did this lady know?

Slowly, I started to see a glimmer of hope. I lost 30 pounds the summer I lived in London and the world seemed a little brighter. I wasn't exactly the queen of popularity in high school but I disliked it anyway and made it through unscathed, for the most part. I went on to college where boys started to notice me. Whoa. The end of my time in London was a bit of a low point for me, but I returned to the US determined to take the time to better myself, at least physically. While everything else seemed to be spinning out of control I figured at the very least I could handle that one aspect of my life.

Today, I am 60 pounds lighter than I was at 13. But more then being physically better, somewhere between the time when my mum starting preaching her crazy gospel and now, I actually really started liking myself. I discovered that she was right. At 27, I wear less make up than I have in years, I enjoy spending time alone and have the confidence to try pretty much anything. I can laugh at myself and not get torn up when others laugh at me. In fact, I've discovered that I get immense pleasure out of making others laugh, even if it is at me. I rarely look back at high school nostalgically, mostly because I really didn't like it, but also because I can hardly believe that I was once that girl who let other's opinion of her get her down. Now I say, "if you don't like me, nuts to you, that's your problem".

Recently my mum and I were talking about how I spent several of my early 20s years faking it until I could make it. I wasn't exactly where or what I wanted to be, but I figured that eventually I'd buy into my own attempt at confidence. Eventually I did. And I was surprised to hear that Mum too has at points in her life faked it to make it. I guess maybe we're more alike than I thought.