But there was always one thing about the movie that drove me crazy. Harry is so insistent that men and women can't truly be friends. As a guy's girl I found this to be a complete fallacy. I had plenty of guy friends. I always had. I was that girl; just one of the guys. This stayed true through college, but I slowly began to see a shift as I got older. Somewhere between high school and college I had become more attractive to guys and the friendships didn't seem quite as strong. Sure we were friends but that didn't mean things couldn't change after a few beers. After my college relationship ended I maintained very few of those friendships. Out of college and in the "real world" it became more difficult to make guy friends. There was no click anymore and was no inheriting guy friends from a boyfriend. I had to do it on my own and it wasn't easy.
In total I think I've made maybe 6 guy friends since college (I'm excluding boyfriends of friends), 2 of whom are gay and 2 of whom I rarely speak to anymore. It is simply more complicated as you get older because something always seems to get in the way, either a girlfriend or emotions or unclear intentions. I find myself taking an extended pause when thinking about guy friends. It may not be that I am attracted or interested in them now, but I find myself thinking, "should I be?". Meeting a quality guy is no easy task, and so it often seems easier to simply change affections towards a friend.
But then there's the age old cliche, it will ruin the friendship. Really? Will it? If you're both honest aren't you just waiting until that night when you have one too many beers and....oops? Chances are at least one of you is. I hate to admit it, but all those arguments I had with my college roommate on this subject matter were in vein. I was wrong. I am not longer convinced that guys and girls genuinely can be friends...unless they've known each other for years, but maybe not even then. Dang it, I hate being wrong.
Well there are grey lines throughout this and when you dissect it further you'll see the black and white vivisections. There are tons of factors-- age (either very youthful or at the point where you don't want to bother using viagra), to which you'll probably fare well with a platonic friendship (but who's to say what intimacy is at that point?) Otherwise if your libido is matured and you're finding a mate, you'll probably seek out deeper more intimate and sexual relationships over friendships. And if in the friend category, you'll either have a mate already,creating buffer, and that said mate approves of the coed friendship (rare)...otherwise, and to quote harry, the friendship is ultimately doomed. ps I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie too!! twinnie.
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