It has to be said that my dad can be a pretty smart guy. Throughout college we had a standing date for our Sunday phone conversation and I can't even begin to count how many times I was hungover on Sundays. I have always been very honest with both of my parents, so my dad knew exactly what I meant when I said I was feeling "a little under the weather". Never one to scold my dad would chime in with "The night before is never worth the morning after" and "Everything in moderation, Kelly". I never listened.
As I've gotten older "under the weather" has gotten far worse for far longer. I am not exaggerating when I say that after 23 hangovers became an event. I'm talking in bed all day, two-day headaches with lots of visits to the royal thrown. Especially good hangovers will include sweating, moaning in pain, lots of junk food and plenty of self-loathing. I'm generally useless for at least 12 hours of the day and am genuinely unpleasant to be around. And nowadays a hangover is pretty much a given if I consume more than a few drinks, but I just keep drinking. It doesn't even make sense to me.
So at 26 I think I might finally start listening to my dad. Don't get me wrong, I have a good time when I go out with friends, but I have never - NEVER - had a hangover that was worth it. Never. I've yet to wake up with a throbbing head and a queasy stomach and think, "Wow, I'm really glad I had that last shot of tequila". Then there's the money aspect. I am literally paying to make myself sick. How does that make sense? I don't even need my dad to tell me that it doesn't. And don't even get me started on all the useless calories I'm consuming!
Now I'm sure you're thinking, "Dang, this girl is a lush". I'm really not. I maybe go out once a week, but the once a week hangover that is almost sure to follow makes it feel like I'm getting hammered every night. It really just isn't worth it to me anymore, so I have decided to mandate a two drink limit. This will mean no more wasting my weekends in bed, growing a beer belly and throwing my money away. Maybe I'll even start a Asia travel fund or a tattoo fund or shopping fund or a new hobby fund with all my saved money. Really, the possibilities are endless.
