The better part of my life I have suffered from sympathy pains. Someone talks about having a headache and suddenly I have one. When I was 10 and went to summer camp with a friend and she got sick (homesick really), I got sick too. But where this is most evident is when it comes to friends or family going through heartbreak.
Now I"ll be honest, this could be because I'm still slightly biased against love, but I don't really think that is the whole story. My heart genuinely aches when I hear about relationships breaking up, especially when it was long term. I suddenly find myself in the mind of the heartbroken and without warning I'm feeling nauseous and forlorn. My stomach is uneasy for days and I don't sleep well. I imagine how that person must be feeling. I begin to feel like I am experiencing their loneliness and fear as they try to figure out where to go from here; how they will put their life back together. I fight back tears thinking about it on my own. In some extreme cases I have cried outright. I can't help it. I wish I could. I'm sure this can't be a healthy habit.
When it comes right down to it, if I'm brutally honest, I'm not sure that it is me actually experiencing their pain or if it is me simply mourning the loss of love. Deep down, I truly want to believe that love does exist and every time a seemingly loving relationship breaks up so does my hope for love. It seems as though the universe anticipates when I'm almost ready to open up my own heart and it busts up someone else's just to keep me in my place. Just to keep me on the wrong side of optimism.
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